Your Sacredness

Sometimes love is hard: maybe all our needs aren’t met; we can be misunderstood; we might witness the suffering of those we care about; we are sometimes faced with the choice to do something hard because of love. Sooner or later, all love will invite some form of sacrifice. The word sacrifice can seem old fashioned. In fact, too often, sacrifice has been used as a category to silence our own needs keeping us in unhealthy or even unsafe relationship patterns. This kind of sacrifice which is really a form of martyrdom where our own needs are subordinated to others’ needs is quite unhealthy. As humans, we thrive when we have bi-directional relationships aligned with our values where energy flows both ways and where we are both caring for another and being cared for. Yet, even in the healthiest of relationships, we can encounter moments that call us to dig deep into the well of courage and do something difficult. The word sacrifice acknowledges that caring for another person is sometimes hard; yet love can compel us to forgo comfort because of our devotion to the relationship. In fact, the word sacrifice is from the Latin meaning to make something sacred. We recognize the sacredness of any moment when we bring love and care to it. So, let’s normalize the fact that sometimes love is hard and sometimes we will dig deep and experience some discomfort because of the depth of our love. Let’s also normalize recognizing our boundaries and the limits to which we can sacrifice. Let’s remember that to love sustainably over time, sacrifice will need to be balanced with self-care and being cared for by others. Trust that this bi-directionality is a vital need for all of us.

Weekend Wisdom is a weekly sharing from Copper Beech Institute’s founder, Dr. Brandon Nappi.