Allow feelings

Allowing your feelings to flow freely is one of the great gifts of mindfulness practice. I haven’t always understood this. In the past, I’ve noticed in myself a reflex to seek others’ approval and permission to feel my own emotions. Before I could allow myself the fullness of feeling, I would need to hear that it was OK and reasonable. I would need to hear from someone that I was justified in feeling this way. Knowing your infinite worth allows us to surrender the need to seek validation from others for your experience. Looking to others for validation over time can leave us feeling alienated from ourselves and addicted to approval. There is no need to ask for permission to feel. Emotions are simply energy in motion. Energy doesn’t require permission to flow, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. This doesn’t mean that we don’t need each other for love, compassion, and support. Of course, being in relationship with others is a vital support to our experience. To come fully alive, we all need compassion and lovingkindness which is different than permission or validation. Validation from someone means, “I approve of what you are feeling.” Compassion from someone means, “I am willing to be present to and love you no matter what you’re feeling.” Mindfulness practice has helped me to welcome this kind of compassion from others even as I seek to offer it to those who need it. Weekend Wisdom is a weekly sharing from Copper Beech Institute’s founder, Dr. Brandon Nappi.